November 3, 2006

Fine, Bishop Rick, I give up.

I tried like crazy to get Bishop Rick to guess which of my TAKE TWO statements was a lie. He was right the first time when he guessed my first ones were all true (although how on earth could he know??) and I really wanted to see if he could guess the actual lie in my second try.

But since he's not interested, I shall divulge here now...

1. During childbirth the first time, I went from being dilated to 6 to actually having my baby in only 15 minutes.

TRUE. JOOM, I was in the hospital from 9 am to 3:45 when they checked me and said I was only dilated to 6. I couldn't take it anymore, so I said those words that many women swear by: Get. Me. An. Epidural. NOW! While they were going to get the tray to do the epidural, my body pushed and suddenly I was having my baby. He was born at 4:00. I only pushed twice. Blame my child bearing hips.

2. My first romantic (wet) dream starred me and . . . . wait for it . . . . Christopher Reeves. I was maybe 11 at the time. And it was HOT. Of course all we did was kiss, but it was lying-down-in-bed kinda kissing.

TRUE. Nothing but kissing, but it was HOTTT. I'd be ashamed, but I can't help what my subconcious finds attractive, can I? And no, he wasn't in Superman garb, but he was wearing those sexy Clark Kent glasses. Mee-ooooow.

3. I once endured a 12 hour layover in Brussels, Belgium. We wandered the city and then slept next to a really cool fountain most of the day.

TRUE. On my way to Austria as an exchange student. We arrived at 6 am and had until 6 pm to get on the last flight over to Vienna. Beautiful city, I'd love to go back.

4. On an all-day hike at Girls Camp, I found a huge mushroom (6” across) that had another mushroom growing out the top of it which had another mushroom growing out the top of it. I picked it and hauled it back to camp because I knew nobody would believe me otherwise.

FALSE. Janet, you are GOOD. This is what really happened! I was hiking and we came upon a patch of these really huge mushrooms. The biggest was at least 6" across. I decided it'd be funny to fake the rest of camp out (aka LIE to a bunch of gullible LDS biddies!), so I used my pocket knife and cut them to create a 3-tiered shroom, and I did carry it back to camp (it wasn't far or else you'd have been right, it would have been ruined) and I told everyone I'd actually found this freak of nature. They all believed me! It was such a lie, and even more priceless duping the bitches at girls camp!! Absolutely awesome.

5. The first concert I ever attended was Kool and the Gang. It would’ve been a hot date except my host brother insisted in coming along, damn him.

TRUE. In Austria in 1991, an open air concert at the DONAUFEST, an all-city outdoor party on an island on the Danube River. I loved the concert, even though Kool and the Gang were no longer "cool" in the US. I actually flirted my way into getting a returned missionary in my Austrian ward to take me, and as I was getting ready, my host brother said, "Are you ready? We're gonna miss the train."
He INVITED HIMSELF ALONG on my hot date. I was so mad at him I wouldn't talk to him the whole night. Now, as I look back, I wonder if he really liked me and I never knew it!

So now you know, even if you didn't care.


Cele said...

I just couldn't see how the mushroom one could have been true, but weirder things have happened.

I felt bad. I'd already posted my answers, before B - Ric looked or a guess. He was so kind to not read the answers before making his choice. darn he's good too.

Christy said...

I love your imagination, girl. That is too funny, thanks for making me laugh today!

Bishop Rick said...


I didn't read your request until just now. Believe me, I wanted to guess. I have just been swamped with work lately.


Sister Mary Lisa said...

Bishop, you are forgiven. :) Now you know all my deepest secrets, and my one lie.