I enjoyed breakfast with my daughter at her "Memories with Moms" event at the school this morning, and I was walking with her to her class at the end, when suddenly there in front of me was a woman from my ward, whose kids go to another school, but since their school has too many kindergartners, they ship them to our school. I have always liked her but never made time to become actual call-each-other friends.
After we said hi and figured out why she was there, she said, "I'm your new visiting teaching partner! We need to find out when we can figure out the whole lunch thing and do our visits." I stared at her and wondered if I should say something now...is it easy to just say to her face, "I don't go to church anymore"? I just didn't think a lunchroom full of kids and people was the place, so I told her I'd call her. (You may call me chicken if you wish!)
Now, if the RS president, who was the first to know I was questioning the church, who MUST know that we haven't been there, and that I asked to be released from my calling, hasn't figured things out by now, then I am non-plussed. I have no idea what to say or do. Is the bishop clueless? Is she?
I'm going to draft a letter and send it to the bishop and the RS president. In it I plan to tell them that I looked into the church's origins, and from the knowledge I have gained, I've come to the conclusion that the church is not true. I'll explain my specific findings that led me to my knowledge, and that I'm not explaining to debate the issues, but so that they'd know I wasn't offended by anyone or that I just want to be inactive. Maybe then they'll leave me alone and I'll get some peace!
I'm going to draft the letter so I can also e-mail it to my TBM dad and Austrian host family at the same time. Even though I want to get it behind me and move on, apparently I can't until I explain myself. Anything less just drags the torture on and on and on.