Every summer it's the same story.
I feel major guilt for paying my older kids to babysit my younger kids, thereby depriving them of freedom to play and enjoy activities with friends due to responsibility. I remember fondly all my summers filled with playing outside all day, every day. (Thanks, Madre!)
My son got invited to hang out with friends tomorrow, but I called every person I could think of to replace him as babysitter, and not one person is available.
It never fails that every summer I wish more than ever I were a successful artist who could be home during the day for my kids.
I'm so sorry.
10 comments:
Go easy on yourself, SML. It sounds like your choices are limited for childcare. Maybe you could do a rota and invite one of your older kids' responsible friends over to help babysit - split the cost of the babysitting and free up the other older kid to go out with his friends. It's probably not a brilliant suggestion but it could be feasible if the older kids were over the age of 13, or so...
Only feel guilty if you are not doing your best. Yes, I did the drawing a long time ago. I haven't done any drawing for at least ten years but at one time I wanted to be an sculptor. I'm hoping to do a bit of drawing on holiday this year.
I remember missing out on good times too due to family matters, but I didn't mind it much. The feeling of being needed and wanted meant more. It's the other way around that hurts..
being a member of a family unit comes with responsibility. Those responsibilities increase as you get older. No reason for guilt here that I can see.
There are trade offs. First you pay him. You're a way kewl mom. And there will be a really nice (karma works in all shapes and sizes) payoff in the future.
Celerman makes a good point: When you're doing your best, why should you feel guilt?
I'm also with Celerman and Paul. When you're doing your best, you shouldn't feel guilty. The guilt is a leftover from Mormonism that tells you you're "not being good enough" or you "need to be perfect." Repeat after me: Perfect is impossible but good is good enough.
I feel your pain, SML. ALthough I don't have a 9-5 job, I do leave to do workshops and I do feel guilty. But then I remember that my kids are learning and they will survuve and grow from whatever experiences they have (whether I want them to or not). I think You'll find that your kids will thank you when they are adults. And give yourself a break; you are doing what you have to do, and they see that. What a great example.
hugs
ja
At least you pay them! I know many parents (including my own) who didn't pay their older children for watching the younger ones. It is a difficult situation though.
SML,
I agree with Aerin, at least to pay him. My daughter wanted so badly to have a summer job. She needed money to play with. I am sure he likes having cash to do things in the evenings with his friends. You are a good mom, you are providing for you children. They may not appreciate the value of that now, but I am sure they will in the future.
Lots of Hugs!
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