July 31, 2007

Mother Guilt

Every summer it's the same story.

I feel major guilt for paying my older kids to babysit my younger kids, thereby depriving them of freedom to play and enjoy activities with friends due to responsibility. I remember fondly all my summers filled with playing outside all day, every day. (Thanks, Madre!)

My son got invited to hang out with friends tomorrow, but I called every person I could think of to replace him as babysitter, and not one person is available.

It never fails that every summer I wish more than ever I were a successful artist who could be home during the day for my kids.

I'm so sorry.

10 comments:

hm-uk said...

Go easy on yourself, SML. It sounds like your choices are limited for childcare. Maybe you could do a rota and invite one of your older kids' responsible friends over to help babysit - split the cost of the babysitting and free up the other older kid to go out with his friends. It's probably not a brilliant suggestion but it could be feasible if the older kids were over the age of 13, or so...

celerman said...

Only feel guilty if you are not doing your best. Yes, I did the drawing a long time ago. I haven't done any drawing for at least ten years but at one time I wanted to be an sculptor. I'm hoping to do a bit of drawing on holiday this year.

Genilimaa said...

I remember missing out on good times too due to family matters, but I didn't mind it much. The feeling of being needed and wanted meant more. It's the other way around that hurts..

Bishop Rick said...

being a member of a family unit comes with responsibility. Those responsibilities increase as you get older. No reason for guilt here that I can see.

Cele said...

There are trade offs. First you pay him. You're a way kewl mom. And there will be a really nice (karma works in all shapes and sizes) payoff in the future.

Paul said...

Celerman makes a good point: When you're doing your best, why should you feel guilt?

Janet M Kincaid said...

I'm also with Celerman and Paul. When you're doing your best, you shouldn't feel guilty. The guilt is a leftover from Mormonism that tells you you're "not being good enough" or you "need to be perfect." Repeat after me: Perfect is impossible but good is good enough.

JulieAnn Henneman said...

I feel your pain, SML. ALthough I don't have a 9-5 job, I do leave to do workshops and I do feel guilty. But then I remember that my kids are learning and they will survuve and grow from whatever experiences they have (whether I want them to or not). I think You'll find that your kids will thank you when they are adults. And give yourself a break; you are doing what you have to do, and they see that. What a great example.
hugs
ja

aerin said...

At least you pay them! I know many parents (including my own) who didn't pay their older children for watching the younger ones. It is a difficult situation though.

JulieOShields said...

SML,
I agree with Aerin, at least to pay him. My daughter wanted so badly to have a summer job. She needed money to play with. I am sure he likes having cash to do things in the evenings with his friends. You are a good mom, you are providing for you children. They may not appreciate the value of that now, but I am sure they will in the future.
Lots of Hugs!