July 2, 2007

What Happens in Salt Lake, STAYS in Salt Lake!

Friday evening the exmo party was to be at 6:00 p.m. Xcetra and her husband FoMo had kindly offered their home, since they had built a new home and had been wanting to host a get-together since December. She invited a group of exmos she knows in addition to those from FLAK who said they'd like to be there too. It was a BBQ: bring your own meat, drinks and side dishes or snacks to share. Aaaah, ward potluck memories!

Dartman and I couldn't be there until 8:00 p.m., so by the time we arrived, the party had been going already for a couple hours. We met Xcetra at the door, and when she led us into the kitchen, Christy saw that we had arrived, and ran over to introduce us to the people we didn't know. I saw that From the Ashes was there, and everyone else besides Christy, her friend Craig, and FTA were strangers to me. I'm sorry to say that my memory for names is HORRIBLE, so I can't name all the people I met, but they all seemed nice. It was apparent from the first look that they had partied together before, and that they were all quite good friends.

We sat down at the dining room table where the munchies were, and we sipped our drinks and talked with people who were there. I had a lot of fun...I don't have a lot of opportunity to enjoy parties like that. The others were having a great time. Every once in awhile the music would be turned up loud, and the group of friends would converge on the kitchen, the deck out back, or the living room, and they were very lively.

A couple different times during the evening one of them would approach me and ask if I was uncomfortable. Um, I wasn't uncomfortable until you ASKED me if I was! Apparently I must have LOOKED uncomfortable at times. In my own defense, I was sporting a migraine that night, and it's hardly fun for others at a party to hear someone complaining that their head hurts like a sonofagun, so that may be why I looked "uncomfortable."

I was thrilled when a couple of my favorite bloggers showed up: JulieAnn from Ravings of a Mad Woman, and T.Wanker from Mormon Erotica. They may have shown up and left together, and looked like a couple who fits perfectly together, but I'd never let THAT cat out of the bag, would I?? They were so much fun to talk with, and it really did seem like we had known each other for a long time as we talked and laughed together. I was very glad to get to know them better, and to meet them in person. Great people.

We also met Julianna (Enlightened Molly) and her husband Richard (whose exmo forum name I promptly forgot)...they were very easy to talk to and I really enjoyed getting to know them. I have found a kindred spirit in Julianna, and I look forward to getting to know her better via email as well. I have a feeling I'll be seeing them again someday. We all had fun snacking on brie and bread, fruit chunks soaked in port, sugar cookies, and chips and salsa. All of us talked for what seemed like hours, with an occasional interruption of fun times from the other guests as they came and entertained us with what they had to say.

Christy's BFF, Shiree, was very fun, lively, and memorable in how she handled being drunk. She had a cute tendency to start talking loudly, and slowly, while waving her arms for emphasis as she told us a story. We decided that when I wrote about the party on my blog, I'd describe it as awesome. Only, just for Shiree, it's gotta be OSS-UM! It was fun meeting her after reading about her on Christy's blog before.

The group of couples there whom I didn't know before that night seemed very fun and carefree. There were some unexpected things going on at the party, such as clove cigarettes, pot, cigars, and other stuff that I'm hesitant to write about for fear I come across as judgemental when in fact I'm not judging, just processing. I have a To Each His Own mindset that is growing broader every day. I will say it was rather unexpected for me to see people behaving so openly in front of people who are basically strangers, without reservation. Some things that I saw: people making out with or fondling someone else's spouse, girls feeling each other up, girls flashing their bras to the group. I try to keep an open mind, and if both partners in a relationship are willing to be open in that way, and their friends are also open to it, then I can see no problem. I sometimes wish I were less inhibited myself.

Just so Dartman doesn't assume that if I'm ever at a future exmo function alone, I'll be engaging in stuff I wouldn't do if he were there. Although, since I've never been fully drunk before, who knows what I'm capable of?? ;)

I was really glad to have had the chance to meet bloggers and exmo friends on that Friday in Salt Lake City. It was quite memorable and I look forward to the next time I can do it again, hopefully without a headache next time!

And sadly, I didn't take any pictures at either exmo gathering that day. I considered taking my camera, but wasn't sure how well that would be received, since many of the people I met were strangers to me, so I decided against photos. Next time I'll see what I can do to rectify the situation.


CV Rick said...

I would say that this party was quite a leap for you . . .

You've made a major belief transition in the past [how long?] from being a TBM to going to a party with drugs and promiscuous extra-marital affections.


Sounds like a party to have been at . . .

Enlightened Molly AKA Julianna said...

I am so glad you were at the party SML, It was good to talk to you and Dart. I have known most of the people at the party since they left the church, or while they were in the process of leaving. Shiree and her husband came to a post mormon support group just as they were leaving. They were so timid and leary of what they might find at the group. They have come a long way. I am glad I am able to know all of the peole who were at the party, except for the few new faces who were there. Maybe I will see them at future gatherings. It means so much when you live in mormonville to have someone to talk to. That is how this group formed, We have members of our group who live as far south as Spanish Fork, and as far north as Bountiful maybe Ogden? We have been able to meet and keep contact through parties like the one you went to. It means a lot to us. We love to meet new comers also. We have an open door policy and accept anyone into our group with no questions asked! :)

Danielle said...

Most of the people have had time to establish what their boundaries are in regards to their spouses. Not everyone does it and everyone is usually fine with what each person is comfortable with and doesn't push unwanted stuff on others.

We have been friends for a while, most of us met about 2 years ago. It seems like a largish number of people started leaving about 2 1/2 to 3 years ago. And thankfully we all found each other and were able to help each other transition out.

Anyway, I'm glad you could make it. Fomo apologizes to everyone for passing out.

We hope that if you are in Utah again you'll look us up.

Danielle (aka Xcetra)

C. L. Hanson said...

See? It's posts like this one that make me sad that I live so far away... :'-(

dartman113 said...

The party was "interesting" and I'm glad to have met everyone. I was glad to be able to put faces to everyone my wife talks about. (only good things)

Cele said...

hmmmm, bummer dude, no pictures.
Beware, I take my camera with me, but I am non intrusive with it. Thank you for a view into both get togethers.

JulieAnn said...

So much for staying in Salt Lake! Sheesh. How dare you take the words of a partially drunk blogger and use them against her! For shame! SO the fruit was in port, huh? Go figure...

KBAB said...

ha! sounds like a good party.

aerin said...

I too am jealous. Thanks for the post!