December 22, 2006

Just hit'll be all right.

An e-mail I just sent a few minutes ago. He'll get it at work and at home.

Hi Dad,

I haven't heard much from you lately, but I hear you are still planning to come up for Christmas! The presents are wrapped and under the tree, so get up here quick and celebrate with us!!! We look forward to your visit. The Octoplog is a welcome addition to any party, as you know. Speaking of parties, we have a dinner at our house on Christmas Eve every year. Are you planning on staying at our house or Tony's?

I'm sorry to be giving you such news over e-mail, but it seems to be our best mode of communication...

I want to let you know that I've decided to leave the church. We quit going in September. I know this may be painful for you, and I don't want to hurt you at all. I hope you will be respectful of my right to choose for myself and my family what is best for us. I don't want this to ruin your Christmas, nor do I want it to create tension between us during your visit. Therefore, I will not be discussing this over the holiday. I hope you will also respect my privacy and not discuss this with Tonya either. She deserves to enjoy her much-needed break from work, and talking about me and my decision to leave the church will hardly be relaxing for her, or you. Plus she really doesn't care to discuss me with others. I'll be open to discussing it with you at a later time, if you wish.

Please know that I am truly happier now, and so are the kids. It is a joy to finally experience leading my own life, choosing my own path, and thinking for myself without all the answers handed to me.

I sincerely hope this will not prevent you from coming to visit. I felt like you would prefer to know now vs. finding out Sunday morning.

Please let me know when you plan to arrive so we can watch out for you!

With love, always.



Sideon said...

**sending hugs and hopeful thoughts**

You're an adult - let's hope that he acts like one too. More than that, I hope he hears and feels the love you have for him. You put everything up front and are giving the option of where to stay, which is great. I like how you nipped it in the bud about talking with your sister. If he does need to vent, then I can only hope that he chooses to do so later, directly, with you.

Best of luck. If things get crazy, come on over here :) You and your family would be more than welcome.

Anonymous said...

I second Sideon's thoughts!! much love and happy holidays!

Janet M. Kincaid said...

Lots of hugs and hopeful thoughts from me, too.

I think the hardest part about being an adult child with parents is helping them understand that you're an adult with the ability to make responsible, thoughtful choices. And the hard part for them is learning to live with and respect the fact that they raised us to be responsible, thoughtful people whose decisions they must also respect. We make choices and decisions they're never going to 100% like, but they have to trust us to make them. (I think my head is spinning from redundancy. I have to go lie down now...)

Good luck. Let us know how it all turns out.

Jazzy said...

Good for you Lisa! I know how hard that email was for you to send. I hope that he understands and is willing to put any discussions on hold until after the holidays.

Eat some Butter Ball soup for me!


Jer said...

Half the stress comes from envisioning all the possible reactions to what you put in your letter.

I expect at worst you'll get some disappointment and a call to pray and study the scriptures but otherwise things will return to a new normal soon enough.

I know how much guts it takes to do this, great job Lisa!

Anonymous said...

WOW, bet that was tough. You did great. I think by now he's kind of used to the not so fun surprises that his family (all of them) have given him. Don't think that you won't still get the ensign subscription for Christmas. I love you very much. Keith and I can't wait to open our gifts. Thank you!

Freckle Face Girl said...

That is a very nice way of getting your point across. I hope you have a wonderful/peaceful Christmas.

Anonymous said...

Whew! Good job. I'm sorry about your dad's reaction, if that was his reaction.

Thinking of you at such a difficult time...

I was on pins and needles after I emailed my family. They all responded, though, eventually.

Anubys said...

Funny how we fear how our parents will react to us choosing our our beliefs or path. When I told my parents it was such a shock to them- it was like I was just expected to always believe as they do. How jacked is that?