August 13, 2006

Inspiration???

Recently I was assigned a home teacher whom I used to teach in Gospel Essentials for about 4 years up until February when I got moved to the Primary. Anyway, he is an older single gentleman who is very strange to be around. But you figure he may be harmless in a public setting and you tolerate him, or maybe because he's a night janitor you think this might explain a little why he's like he is. He'd bear his testimony and you could barely understand his ramblings...sometimes he'd make very off-the-wall comments in class about purifying himself and repenting but never knowing if he ever gained actual forgiveness, so he'd keep repenting over and over just in case. He was assigned as my home teacher and immediately I had reservations about letting him near my non-member husband, or my kids for that matter. For instance, the first week he called to come over, we had stuff going every nite (sports practices and games for both kids) and we were travelling that next weekend. He offered to come over the one day where I'd be at my presidency meeting and my husband would be home alone. I said, No, I don't think so. He said, "sometimes the spirit can prompt people to be touched even if you don't think the spirit will." I knew then I'd BETTER be there if he ever came over. He was assigned to be my home teacher before I had doubts about the church. I can just imagine what my husband would get for impressions of the church if this man came and preached to him. And preaching is all it'd be!

Anyway, every single time he called to schedule we had too many things going, and last month when we had agreed it'd be on Sunday, I got a migraine and didn't go to church at all. So when I called the primary to get someone to do sharing time for me, I asked her to let my home teacher know as well so he wouldn't try coming over while I was in bed. Then last Sunday I told him, "Fine, why don't you try to make it next Sunday?" just to get him off my back. But today I really didn't want to deal with him, so when I saw him as he opened the library for me, I told him a LIE that my husband was sick and would rather not have company today. He then made some horrid remark that made me so mad I can't even remember what it was exactly. Something terribly cutting. And his face contorted into this awful rage that really scared me at the time. The other librarian (priesthood holder) excused himself and left me alone with Psycho, thanks a lot! I was glad when teachers started coming in to make copies during our conversation.

I said, "My husband is sick. He doesn't want visitors today. That's it." By this time there were 3 other people in the library openly staring at us. He started arguing with me again, and I just told him I was sorry he felt that way but it was simple, and he went off on me again and said, "Last month YOU were sick, this month your HUSBAND is sick. Sounds kind of like a trend, doesn't it?" I just repeated (in order to get the last word because this is my nature!) "I'm really sorry you feel that way. I can't help it if you don't believe me" and walked out. I was seething mad. I couldn't believe it! And you know what? I'm fairly sure all that prompted that kind of manic anger was the thought that he'd be less than 100% when he reported his home teaching to someone. I was getting ready to draft my letter to the High Priest group leader (?) to remove all home teachers from visiting me, especially this one, when the phone rang and caller ID showed my home teacher's name. I wouldn't let anyone answer it, and he left me a message. It said, "I'm sorry that I said that stuff today, I shouldn't have said it. Apparently the lists have been changed and I'm not your home teacher anymore."

So I have to (once I get done celebrating) wonder if this is "divine inspiration" on the high priest group leader's part, or if my home teacher requested I be removed from his list because I never let him come, and his numbers/stats were being affected. Or maybe there were more than 3 people listening in and they all reported that something went down in the library that wasn't good. Who knows?! But thank goodness I am done with it now.

4 comments:

Saint'n said...

Hey SML,

I saw your comment on La's blog. Just watned to let you know that making a link list is simple. Blogger has all the instructions, and if you spend a bit of time reading these, you'll get it. Hell, if I could do ti, I assure you that you can to!

Anyway, good luck on your journey -- it is not easy, but definately worth it. If you want to chat about things, feel free to leave a post on one of the comments in my blog. Oh, one quick warning, I am way out of the church, and have very little respect for it, so I can get a little rowdy at times. This said, I totally remember how difficult it was leaving, so I can empathize.

Good luck. Oh yeah, the crazy home teacher -- they are all crazy, cause you's have to be crazy to actually think that program benefits anyone!

(:

La said...

Was he in attendance at the Scmt Mtg today? Did he not hear the talk about Being Nice?!?

That reminds me of an old home teacher of ours who actually had us get on our knees once, in an effort to teach my then non-mo hubby to pray. He then had us prostrate ourselves on the floor. I nearly laughed. When he left, I told my investigator hubby that we "do NOT pray like that!!"

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Holy crap, La! I can't believe they made you lie prostrate! That's definitely not right. Reminds me of nuns doing their self-flagellation stuff in repentance. I have been married to my non-member husband for almost 14 years, and we've only had a handful of home teacher visits in all that time. We always do family prayer sitting on our couches and chairs, and they have all been fairly good at not batting an eyelash to this. In this ward (I've been in it for 4 years) I was actually irritated that I didn't get a home teacher who visited me until last year or so, even after I mentioned it to the bishop more than once. I thought it'd be nice to have a priesthood holder as a friend in case I needed one, which I never have, ever. But now I'm glad I don't anymore! Not all are bad, but this last one I wasn't letting in my house!!

Saint'n, thanks for the comments. I'll go and read your blog and learn some new stuff from you soon! Thanks. I'm not finding it hard to leave for myself, but it's the thoughts of what my 13 year old son will feel and my 8 year old daughter who also go to church with me. I'm waiting to be ready to talk to them in depth to explain why I feel like I do and talk it out. I'm sure my 8 year old won't want to go anymore (heck, she didn't want to go TODAY!) but not so sure about my son. I just can't believe how fast and suddenly it all crumbles on you.

CV Rick said...

Wow, that reminds me of how I ended all relationships with Home Teachers.

Another story to tell.

Thanks, great writing.