A couple days ago I got an invitation in the mail that read:
You're invited to an open house for mom & baby!
It was listed as being given by a friend I know from way back (Anna) and a woman I had never heard of, and all it said below was "Bring a gift for mom or baby. If you haven't already!"
I tried calling the friend I know to see if the other woman was her daughter having a baby (although I didn't think she had a daughter with that name) or find out who the shower was for, but she wasn't home, so I figured I'd not go since I had a soccer game anyway that lasted until after the baby shower started.
During the soccer game, however, I saw Anna in the stadium seats (our sons are on the team together) so I asked her what she was doing here if she was also throwing a baby shower...and I asked her who it was for.
She said it was for my best LDS friend who had a baby three weeks ago ~ they had forgotten to put her or her baby's name on the invite!
I have gone to lunch with Anna once since my disaffection and told her I had left the church and why. She's an awesome woman and we have always liked each other, without ever making time to really do things together besides that one lunch. Ours is the type of friendship where we'll see each other and the joy we each feel is apparent, yet we've never worked in a calling together or even been in the same ward in the last 8 or 9 years. But every time we see each other at a sports function or at the grocery store, we talk like there has been no time in between.
My friend who the shower was for may or may not know of my disaffection. She and I worked in the primary presidency together, were visiting teaching partners for years, and her husband was my home teacher and bishop for five years. They are good friends of ours, and we go have dinner at their home once or twice a year as time allows. We've been to dinner in their home since my disaffection, but nothing was discussed like I expected. They have eight children now so life is complicated for her. She is only 37 years old. She is an absolute saint. If I had that many children, I'd have already lost my mind. I still can't believe I got voted Most Likely To Have Eight Children in my high school yearbook. WTF??
I took my 9 year old daughter and we got there an hour late. I had wondered if anyone would ask me about leaving the church, because this was the first all-LDS function I've attended since leaving the church. Strangely, I wasn't worried, just wondered if it would happen. Ten months ago I'd have been in paranoid panic mode. As it turns out, this was a party with about twenty ladies, and all but four were strangers to me.
It was a fun time, I really love my friend Anna and also the one whose party it was. We had fun laughing and I cracked a few jokes which was fun ~ can you believe someone gifted her bath salts that were said to be an APHRODISIAC right on the label??? How could I NOT joke about the cruel humor of whoever gifted that to her?? I haven't done anything social like that in a while. Good times. I'm very glad I went.
It was interesting to note that nobody whom we were both friends with while working in the primary together were there. Sadly, often in Mormon culture it seems that your best friends tend to be the ones you currently work with, and moving into another ward or getting a different calling (job to do) sometimes causes you to not see or talk to good friends anymore whom you'd have sworn were kindred spirits.
I need to write a note to this friend and tell her I've left the church. Likely she's wondering or hurt why I never trusted her enough to say something.