I want to post more often, since I’ve been writing much less than I’d like. One thing I’ve neglected is my Weenis of the Week posts.
So, without further ado, I give you.....(drumroll, please)
TEAM CHARLA & MIRNA (aka Mirna & Schmirna)
WEENIS OF THE WEEK!
This team of cousins from this season’s The Amazing Race All-Stars drives me absolutely bonkers with the way they talk to foreign people. The foreigners understand English perfectly, but for some reason, Mirna and Schmirna feel the need to talk with a strange half-Latino, half-(Greek?) accent every goddamn time they talk to anyone whose first language is not English.
Need to buy airline tickets from a travel agent in Zanzibar? Break out the accent!
Need to quickly complete a task of painting fingernails for money in Mozambique? Yell to sell with your pseudo accent! Leave out words too, as if you don’t know English!
Need to give your cab driver directions? Break out the accent, and use the word “si” for “yes” ~ even though you’re in Warsaw! Better yet, if the Polish cab driver wants $100 to escort you while you follow him, but you don’t have enough money, CRY and WAIL in your fake accent, “Take pity on a poor girl! No money! No money enough! I’m just a poor girl. Will you make a poor girl beg?!” Wave your $50 in his face, until he walks away, then call him back with tears streaming down your face, using your shrill weenis voice to scream, “Have a little bit of sympathy as a human being! We are here at two in the morning” until he finally agrees just to shut you up.
If your fake accents and voices weren’t so irritating, then maybe I wouldn’t have laughed when Charla face-planted twice while wearing medieval armor in one of the tasks during last night’s episode.
(I will say that I find Mirna twice the Weenis Charla is. That woman is a serious SHREW.)