March 20, 2007

Taking a Poll

I'm curious to know your thoughts on these possible scenarios:

1. If you had an opportunity to meet a fellow blogger in real life, even one of your favorite bloggers, in person, would you do it? Would you feel OK going alone or would you feel the need to have your spouse there? Would the gender of the blogger you were to meet have any impact on your decision to go or not? Would the sexual orientation of that favorite blogger have any impact on your decision to meet him or her? Would you go even if your spouse was uncomfortable with you going?

2. If your spouse was a blogger who wanted to meet a fellow (favorite) blogger in person, would you find it weird that he/she wanted to go and meet that blogger even if you didn't want to? Would it make you uncomfortable, and if so, why? Would you only find it bearable to accept if you went along too? Would you be comfortable letting your spouse go alone? Why or why not?

25 comments:

Rachel said...

I would love to meet fellow bloggers. Gender makes no difference. If my significant other didn't want me to go that would be my only hesitation.
I would not go alone. I would bring my best friend who is a fellow blogger.
If my s/o wanted to meet a blogger he was a fan of even if I wasn't a fan I would go or let him go.
Trust is everything

wry catcher said...

I would be fine if my husband wanted to meet a fellow blogger - but my guess is he'd want me to go. But if I couldn't for some reason, I'd be fine if he went solo.

I've also met up with online people IRL, and sometimes my husband has gone, sometimes not. I met up with a solo guy recently, he's married too. We both just met up, the two of us. We had a really fun evening, and it wasn't weird or awkward at all. Even with many glasses of wine involved! :-)

wry catcher said...

I feel obligated to complete the q'naire! Sociologists are dorky that way.

No, sexual orientation wouldn't matter.

I think spouses/SOs should at least be invited - not specifically included (should have mentioned that DH was invited to go with me on the solo night, he just couldn't be arsed).

I wouldn't be uncomfortable if he went alone; he wasn't uncomfortable when I went alone. I don't know how to answer that one, because he's never been uncomfortable about anything like that. I guess if it made him nervous or something, I would definitely pay attention to his feelings.

I think that's all of it. I'll stop hogging all your real estate now. :-P

wry catcher said...

*Sigh* I meant "excluded" not "included" in first sentence, third paragraph.

This is getting embarrassing.

Mayan Elephant said...

this is a funny post sml. gets me to thinkin a bit. so i suppose thats a good thing.

wry, how is that whiskey? sheeeesh.

first of all. your post is sorta tough for a dude like me. it has a "1" but the 1 has a dozen questions. and the "2" has a bunch of questions. it makes it tough for me to keep track of it all.

i say this - blogger shmogger. if you are a meeting someone that you met online, it should have a HIGHER screening standard than someone you know irl. or, at a minimum it should be consistent. meaning, whatever you do, it shouldnt vary from any other patterns or agreements you have in your home simply because the person is a blogger. insert butcher, baker, candlestick maker for blogger and then go to your spouse with the same questions or issues. does that affect the decision? maybe maybe not.

and whats all this about same sex this and man that and woman that and whatever? just lay it out there and explain who you are meeting and why. some spouses may be interested and some wont be. but the blogger title and all these boxes shouldnt have huge bearing on the decision.

MattMan said...

This is a tough one, but here goes.

First of all, I agree with mayan elephant that the title doesn't matter. We can substitute "online friend" or "pen pal" or whatever -- none of the titles bear any more weight than the other. It is a stranger you haven't met IRL yet.

I think standard precaution should apply here. Standard common sense would apply -- you meet in a public place, have precautionary backup plan, cell phone ready, pepper spray, whatever floats your boat.

Ok, with that out of the way, we can get to what I think the real issue might be here.

I agree with wry catcher that it would be common courtesy to invite your spouse, and if the tables were turned, I would appreciate being invited if my spouse wanted to do something like that.

If the spouse doesn't want to go, I would try to get to the bottom of why they would be uncomfortable with me going alone. After attempting to address those concerns, if there still remained concerns that had no basis in rationality or any basis at all other than not wanting me to do it, then I'd have more thinking to do -- to figure out if this would be a wise battle to choose or not.

IMO, gender and sexual orientation have *zero* bearing on the question, but I understand the situation where a spouse may not agree. In the case of the opposite sex, but sexual orientation other than yours, then that would really equate to same gender now, wouldn't it? ;)

If you're seeking permission from the blog world to do this, you won't get it. It is up to you and yours to make the final decision. No easy outs. ;)

Sofi said...

If you feel weird or uncomfortbale, why don't you arrange an informal blogger get together. That way, everyone can meet.

I've met with other bloggers, of both sexes, and I'm still alive. I've also met a couple of fans/readers, which was kind of weird. Good but weird.

T. Wanker said...

Of course I want everyone to meet down at Four Corners for a big blog party, so sure I'd meet a fellow blogger in real life -- actually have.

I'm single, straight male, so all the spouse questions don't really apply. Sexual orientation doesn't matter in the slightest. Two of the most active participants/ commentors on my blog are gay and I'd really enjoy getting to meet either one of them.

As a single male, I wouldn't mind meeting married female or male bloggers either. Hell, I'd like to meet you amd Dartan, SML, I imagine the conversations would be as riotous and fun as they are on-line.

I have had one very good experience meeting someone through my blog (and I've only been doing this since December), so I don't see any reason why I wouldn't want to have that experience again. Just because it is an on-line community, doesn't mean that it isn't a community.

Cele said...

1) a - I definately would meet bloggers if I had the chance, I've been lucky to have met one or two internet friends so far.
b - Would I ask Ducky along? Sure, but he usually backs off from stuff like that. If he wanted.
c - gender and sexual preferrence don't make a difference
d - Ducky would only ask that I met my blogger friends the first time in a public place. Like for tequila shots and lap dances.

2) a - I would love to get Ducky to blog, so let's jump that hurdle first, but he can meet whom ever he wants.
b - no it wouldn't make me uncomfortable

In fact gosh, several bloggers in this circle are within 60 to 600 miles of me, I would love to met them, and hope to soon.

Jazzy said...

1. (a) Yes, I would neet a fellow blogger in real life. (b) I would want my spouse or best friend (is my spouse was unavailable) going along with me. (c) Gender makes no difference to me. (d) Sexual orientation makes no difference to me. (e) I would not go if my spouse was uncomfortable with me going.

2. (a) If my spouse was a blogger, I would support him if he wanted to meet a fellow blogger. (b) It would not make me uncomfortable. (c) I would like to be included and asked to go along with him. (d) I would not like him to go alone only because I an not always comfortable meeting new people.

Sideon said...

Bad time to mention that I've met THREE bloggers in the past week? Yeah, I'm up to three. My goal is 20 by September. It's all about the blog notches in the belt, baby.

Serious time.

I've met plenty of folks from the online world. Hell, I've dated a few, too. The safety rules always apply - meet in a public place, always, amen. The above comments are spot on.

What it comes down to is communication with your spouse/partner/significant other. Only you two can work it out. The rest of us here are just clamouring for a blogger party.

Cele said...

Blogger Party? Did someone mention...several someones... a Blogger Party?

Aerin said...

I would love to meet fellow bloggers regardless of who they are or orientation.

Next time I'm in Montana - I'd love to meet you SML, your husband or whomever!

For me, the issue is finances, as with most meetings of people online. Even a weekend trip to Vegas would be difficult to swing - babysitters and all that. But I have hope as my kids get older...

JulieAnn said...

I would absolutely meet fellow bloggers. I would love to meet you SML, and others as well, although I don't know very many yet.

I have actually met one fellow blogger and I would definitely be open to doing it again.

I am sort of a public figure, in that I do book signings and appearances, so anyone can meet me at these venues, male, female, doesn't matter. I take the usual precautionary measures when I do them.

I agree with TW; let's all meet at the four corners! Whoohoo!

C.L. Hanson said...

1. If you had an opportunity to meet a fellow blogger in real life, even one of your favorite bloggers, in person, would you do it?

yes

Would you feel OK going alone or would you feel the need to have your spouse there?

Depends on who it is, but alone would probably be okay.

Would the gender of the blogger you were to meet have any impact on your decision to go or not?

no

Would the sexual orientation of that favorite blogger have any impact on your decision to meet him or her?

no

Would you go even if your spouse was uncomfortable with you going?

No, but I would talk to him about it and especially try to persuade him to come along in order to reassure him that it's on the up-and-up.

2. If your spouse was a blogger who wanted to meet a fellow (favorite) blogger in person, would you find it weird that he/she wanted to go and meet that blogger even if you didn't want to?

no

Would it make you uncomfortable, and if so, why?

Not really -- he has his own friends.

Would you only find it bearable to accept if you went along too?

If I read what they were posting on each other's blogs and it looked flirty, I might hint about the possibility of coming along, but this is very, very hypothetical since my husband doesn't blog...

Would you be comfortable letting your spouse go alone?

Probably.

Why or why not?

I trust him.

montchan said...

what? You coming to Sweden SML???
;-)

Melliferous Pants said...

I'm not married so I can't comment on the spouse bit...but I have met a handful of bloggers, of both sexes. Orientation doesn't matter to me. I've always met people in public places and never had a problem.

Online dating? That's an ENTIRELY different story.

C.L. Hanson said...

Living in France, I've had very little opportunity to meet my fellow bloggers (not including bloggers I already knew IRL: my brother, my cousin, my former BYU apartment-mate).

But once a woman I met on exmo-social came and visited me on her trip to France (she stayed at our house, actually), and also I once got to have lunch with one of the people who regularly comments on my blog. I wrote about it here and here.

Just one of many said...

I told my husband he WASN'T allowed to come when if I was to meet up with fellow bloggers. He isn't very social...why the hell did he marry me? So I could talk his head off and he could stare into space!!
Gender no difference. Sexual orientation no difference.
What is your opinion??

coral said...

I met up with a blogger, he came to my house, my men were there. We didn't stp chatting for about an hour!! It felt great, just like the ongoing blogging, but now verbal! I will do it in an instant again!

wry catcher said...

A: "Melliferous pants" cracks me up. :-D

B: I have neat, organised comment envy of Chanson's entry here.

C: What color smoke is coming out of the chimney round your place now?

Taiko Tari said...

I will go and meet that blogger anyway, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, spouse hesitation etc.
Blogger or not, if I want to meet that person, then I shall head my way towards the meeting point and meet the said person.

Pick a public place to start with. Alone or with someone, makes no difference whatsoever.

Taiko Tari said...

oh, btw, I met Montchan. My spouse was threatening to commit suicide if I insisted to meet her, but I went to meet Montchan and Mr. M anyway.

The spouse committed suicide.

But I live happily everafter.

(ps: this is all a lie of course, because a. I don't have a spouse per se who could voice hesitation and b. Montchan is such a doll! heheheh)
(and pss: I want to meet you, SML!)

Bull said...

Hmmm. Sideon's met three bloggers IRL and at least one of them was me :)

Also met JLO in person long before anyone knew what a blog was.

Other than being safe, I wouldn't hesitate. It's fun meeting someone IRL and putting a face to the writing.

Bishop Rick said...

I tried to meet CLH in France when I was there a few weeks ago, but didn't work out, schedule-wise, so obviously, I don't have a problem meeting bloggers.

I will meet anyone, any sex, any orientation during my current upcoming travel schedule:

April 20-27 - Beijing
May 1-3 - St Louis
May 9-11 - San Diego
Aug 1-5 - Las Vegas
Aug 7-11 - San Francisco
Sep 7-11 - Vienna

I can take care of myself, so I'm not worried...oh and I'm a softie so you don't have to worry about me.

Bring your friend, lover, wife, husband, bishop, spiritual advisor, accountant, pimp, etc...I'm game.