March 16, 2007

An Embarrassing Moment

Excitement was running high. We left the hazy hairspray cloud of the dressing room to take our places in line. This was the performance we had been waiting for! My majorettes squad had been practicing and perfecting this particular routine for over a month! We knew there were to be news cameras filming us too, so we were especially excited.

We got upstairs and separated into four lines of ten girls. Each line waited outside one of the four entrances to the gym, located at each corner of the basketball court. The plan was to move forward and wait at the corners of the basketball court, and as soon as we heard the halftime buzzer, we were to march in straight lines diagonally across the court toward the logo of our high school painted in the center of the floor, to come together to form the beginning X pattern and wait for the music to start playing. We stood there with chins high and adrenaline pumping, pom-poms ready and sequins flashing.

I was the first in my line. I stood there with my pom-poms on my hips, smiling big because I noticed upon entering the gym that there was a news cameraman right there, waiting to film us. He crouched low a few feet beyond my right elbow, with camera raised upward toward us. That was a bit nervewracking, but what could I do? I was glad that I had decided to leave my glasses off for this performance, now that I noticed his camera in my face! I was a bit self-conscious about my glasses, and performing without them gave me the added benefit of not being able to see the many faces that (may or may not have) stared at me while I performed in miniskirt and sequins. I couldn't do anything else in life without my glasses (being blind made vision seem somehow vital), but here was one place I could enjoy departure from my usual nerdy self.

I kept my chin high but sneaked a look at the other line of girls to the left of me in the other corner. They were just as excited as I was, that was obvious. The girl behind me mumbled "Almost...almost..." through her clenched-teeth smile. I looked up and noticed that there were only ten seconds left of the half! This was it!!! I straightened even more and focused my eyes on the line of girls diagonally across from me in the opposite corner of the gym. I had to lead my line toward their line as straight as I could. I held my smile in place as I stared at the girl across from me and waited for the buzzer.

Suddenly the buzzer sounded! I lifted my knees high and marched forward with booted toes pointed downward, shaking my pom-poms to the beat of my march. I got a full 5 big steps forward before I noticed that I was the Only. One. Marching. The line of girls in the corner next to mine were still standing in their line, staring at me in horror, some of them shaking their heads NO! in total panic. My eyes flew up to the timer above the middle of the gym, and I saw to my horror that a 2 second time out had been called. It was NOT the halftime buzzer I had heard.

I did the only thing I could do: I lifted my knees even higher and MARCHED BACKWARD, still shaking my pom-poms vigorously to the beat of my march, a huge smile plastered on my face. I stood in place and stared at that timer above the court, willing it to suddenly come alive and swallow me whole. I could hear the girl behind me saying "Oh my God! Oh my God!" through her clenched-teeth smile. All I could do was laugh and stand there and know that the damn cameraman had it all on tape. My humiliation was complete.

The next buzzer that sounded was the real thing. I don't think I've ever performed as well as I did that night, high on the adrenaline rush of my most embarrassing moment.

12 comments:

belaja said...

Oh, my god. You are good for AT LEAST one LOL moment a day and sometimes MORE.

Good on you for marching EVEN PROUDER backwards off the court. I loved that bit best of all.

Rebecca said...

Oh man. Good for you for performing well after that. I'm laughing and cringing.

JulieAnn said...

Whooo hooo! You go!

Cele said...

I am so damn proud of you for marching backwards and laughing about it. I was on the dance squad at high school and the only moment of it I can remember is the night I was, well never mind. I am glad you have a wonderful sense of humor, even thought the embarrassment probably still smarts.

wry catcher said...

Oh god...I'm scared to open up the embarrassing stories vault. YOURS are great though!! :-D

Liseysmom said...

LOL!! That reminds me of the time I was late to class during law school so I went tearing in the door, running up the stairs of the lecture hall, only to realize half way up the stairs that I was in the WRONG CLASSROOM.

So I just turned right around and my heel and tore right back down the stairs and slammed the door behind me.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Bel ~ thanks. I'm glad you liked the way I did it. I couldn't exactly slink off the court like I wanted to.

Rebecca ~ thanks for laughing. It's more fun than cringing.

JulieAnn ~ Thanks for your support in my embarrassment.

Cele ~ I appreciate your pride in the way I handled it. I hate going thru embarrassment of that magnitude!

Wry ~ I'd LOVE to sit and open up the embarrassing vault with you sometime. Oh, would that be great!!

Liseysmom ~ OMG. That's hilarious. I can say so because it wasn't happening to me! :) Thanks for sharing.

Genilimaa said...

Ha ha ha ha ha...
(I can't write in this state, please let me breathe!)...

It's not as much the incident, as your way of telling it.

I love it.

Hellmut said...

May you never be embarrassed more than that, Lisa. I am sure it was horrible at the moment.

Sideon said...

Try high school, 15 years old, and your second day on the swim team. You're the first to dive in and you're in the middle of the pool when you realize your trunks (I wasn't speedo-ed, yet) were back where you'd dived in.

I'm still traumatized, and the swim team is still recovering from their burned-out retinas.

I'll keep you posted on the Casper, WY, trip, btw.

Eric said...

This is my single most favorite embarrassing moment of yours. Having been in the bleachers that day, I can still see it in my mind like yesterday! Ha Ha the split second look of horror, then the ear to ear smile as your knees went to your chin in a backward march, pom pom's a flailing. The teams all looking at you from their huddles. Your group of friends all cringing like they'd just got a paper cut. Simply the best! Thanks for the laugh once again!

CV Rick said...

Absolutely fantastic. Way to accept it, make the best of it, and move on. It would have crushed a lesser person.