February 19, 2007

As Overheard at the Grocery Store

I walked out of the grocery store yesterday behind two elderly women, probably in their seventies or eighties. Just outside the doors stood two stop signs for both directions of parking lot traffic, and a car had stopped right in front of the women, halfway into the stripes of the cross walk. I could hear their conversation as I walked around them toward my car.

"I would have hit that car with my cart if I were you, Betty. They don't wanna stop, then they deserve to be rammed."

"I wish I had. They never think they have to stop, do they?"

"Next time, why don't you just ram them?"

"It's totally deserved. I will."

. . . . .

A NOTE TO ALL WHO KNOW ME:

If I become like them in my old age, just take me out back and put me out of your misery, OK?

22 comments:

Cele said...

I remember when I use to work in a salon being totally shocked at what some of the clientel would say...especially to their stylist. When I worked in the grocery store their demand of their senior citizen discount always made me want to ask when working families would get their discounts. Or ask if they are enjoying my retirement fund, because it'll have been used up by the time I get there.

I'm with you, if I get that way, just shoot me and put everybody our of my misery.

Bishop Rick said...

Sad thing is, we will probably all get that way.

I just hope I'm around long enough to get that way.

Bones are startin' to creak a little bit, voice is gettin' a little scratchy...hell, I'm damn near there now.

Taiko Tari said...

Maybe they were just having some arthritis problem - so they can't think straight.
Surprising, though, how grumpy and bitter one can get (and sometimes some people are not even old!)

Yeah, agreeing with Bishop Rick, the sad thing is we will probably all get that way... well at least at some stage in our life, like when we are having a bad hair day.

Coral said...

Hell, man, I think those old people are hysterical!! I can't wait to be old and mad - at the moment I am just mad! I have to be careful I am not ageist - I HOPE to get that old one day!

Just one of many said...

I want to be the one who grabs the butts of the sackers!! Hell yeah I want the senior discount...I just want to be carded each time!! VANITY!

Rachel said...

I work with the elderly over the phone every day. If you were privy to some of the conversations a.k.a. screaming matches that I have heard you would be shocked.
And it is usually the wife screaming at the husband like a total shrew.
I try to picture the people in my head but usually fail miserably.

"said" Woman said...

Replace the car and two angry grandma's with a taxi cab and me and my roomie, and you would have a typical Saturday afternoon in Manhattan.

As far as what Rachel said, I don't think it matters what age you are...men love crazy women. It makes no sense.

Hellmut said...

Sounds like two cool brauts. More power to them.

Jazzy said...

I agree! I don't ever want to get that way.

dartman113 said...

This reminds me of a classic story about my grandparents. They would sit in their front yard in the middle of town and shoot at the neighborhood animals that would wander into their yard. Cats or Dogs. My Grandpa would shoot with Grandma spotting. They used an air rifle they borrowed from one of my cousins!

Liseysmom said...

Once when I was about 6 months pregnant and very cranky, I was walking across a very very busy street in Baltimore city - I had the little walk light and I was in the crosswalk when someone made a left turn and almost hit me.

The rest of my family had stopped because they saw the person turning but I just walked right out in that crosswalk anyway. The car slammed on the brakes and started honking at me.

And so I stood right in the middle of the damn crosswalk and yelled "God ahead and hit me, fucker!! A pregnant woman in a crosswalk? Yay, go ahead - you'll pay for my unborn child's college education you asshole!!!"

My husband came and forcefully led me to the other side of the street while I was still flipping off the driver over his shoulder.

Anywa, my point is that I think, unfortunately... I'm already there...

emerging from the ashes said...

Um, I was in a grocery store parking lot once and a driver sped up through the cross walk section (running a stop sign) so she wouldn't have to wait for all the people are carts. She almost hit people.

I had a very strong urge to shove my shopping cart right at her car, but I resisted. I so wanted to damage her car to teach her a lesson!

So, yeah, I guess I'm those old ladies too!

This incident was in Provo, at the Food 4 Less (now Reams!) near BYU.

Amy- you were so totally pregnant! Hello hormones!

supernova said...

I so agree; I hope I never get that way!!!

montchan said...

don't worry! There won't be that many cars around our hacienda in Spain!

montchan said...

But that also explains why my car is so dented.

Genilimaa said...

What a wonderful life, having a FRIEND to share the joke with, "hey, here we are two sweet white-haired ladies with handbags, with attitudes worthy of football hooligans". What laughs! What a reason to get up in the morning!

Looking forward to it.

wry catcher said...

Oh, I am definitely going to be those old ladies, if I'm not already. Heh heh.

Sideon said...

Is it a bad sign that I'm already like that?

:)

belaja said...

Wry you stole my thunder. It is an explicit part of my life plan to be like those old ladies--and I may just be there already.

ripzip said...

Damn you kids! Get off my lawn!!

wry catcher said...

Heh heh...Rippy really does say that already!! I'm gonna go be a cranky old lady with her and belaja. Good times.

belaja said...

Oh, YEAH! That should be excellent fun! Remember that Monty Python skit about roving gangs of old ladies terrorizing neighborhoods, hanging out on street corners smoking and tripping random passers-by?

That could TOTALLY be us!