It doesn't get much better than drawing while watching (listening to) "Singing in the Rain."
I plan to work hard on this drawing today (in between laundry loads) because it just occurred to me I have FOUR WEEKS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!
November 26, 2006
November 25, 2006
In answer to some questions
My blog was found by an interesting person, (whose blog I will read through soon) My Marrakech, who asked if I ever sent a letter to my relief society president to explain I don't want visiting teachers anymore, like I posted about previously.
I did send her an e-mail. I outlined that I wouldn't be visiting teaching anymore, because I have recently discovered that the Mormon religion isn't all I thought it was. I assured her I wasn't offended, nor was I just quitting to lead a life of sin. I outlined a few of my biggest discoveries that pushed me into non-belief:
1. Joseph Smith gave the priesthood to a black man, Elijah Abel. Why did he do this if it was against God's will, as later prophets preached? Why did the black people get denied the priesthood until 1978?
2. Joseph Smith had many wives, behind his wife's back, some of whom were already married to men Joseph sent abroad on missions for the church. Some of them were only young girls, and Joseph promised her families eternal salvation if they'd give their daughters to him. This screams of lecherous, wrong behavior. And he did it in the name of God.
3. Why did Brigham Young teach that Adam was in fact God, the Father? As in the father of Jesus Christ. If this was taught as revelation by Brigham Young, why was it later renounced by the prophet Spencer W. Kimball as "false doctrine?"
4. Why did the church not acknowledge the fact that the papyrus that was "translated" by Joseph Smith to become the Book of Abraham, was actually a funerary text, having nothing whatsoever to do with Abraham? Many Egyptologists agree. The church has the original papyri and keeps them locked away and out of the eyes and minds of its membership.
5. Why were there so many differing accounts of the vision in the Sacred Grove? Some of these differing accounts are even by Joseph Smith himself!
6. Why does the temple ceremony so closely resemble the Masonic practices?
7. The church is full of racism, sexism, and homophobia, and I can't condone it.
8. Why did Joseph Smith form the Kirtland Safety Society by telling everyone to put all their money in that bank because God had revealed to him that it would be the biggest, most powerful bank in the land...only to have it fold shortly thereafter? Nobody recovered their money. But Joseph got plenty.
9. Why were we not taught about Joseph using a rock in a hat to "translate" the gold plates into the Book of Mormon?
10. Why, if the Book of Mormon is the "most correct book on earth" has there been no evidence of the people who lived in the Americas from the Book of Mormon? Why did the DNA study prove that the majority of native American people actually originated in Asia?
Then I told her that my biggest disappointment came from the fact that the church hid all these things. Yet they are true. And I can't be part of it anymore.
I never heard again from her. I did find out that she was released, and the other counselor I had worked with in the primary at the time I quit was made RS president. And I found out that the first president forwarded my e-mail to the current one. She and I have been e-mailing on a friendly basis since I quit, and haven't touched on any church topics, because I asked at the beginning not to be contacted in any way but friendship. She told me that she got that e-mail. That's all.
So.....I'm wondering now if the primary president got the e-mail forwarded to her as well, because she never called me like she was going to for a lunch date a few weeks ago. Interesting. I have no doubt they have talked about me amongst themselves. Not that it matters. It's just a fact, I'm sure.
Now, in answer to MM's second question...Last night I did my personal equivalent of Drunken Blogging: I posted while I was still mad. Mad Blogging should be avoided. This, at least for me, is not so wise to do. In future I will probably wait a full day or two, and if I'm still upset, then I will write about whatever it was, or not.
Today I feel much better, and my man is acting like nothing is wrong and is being nice. Of course, we are alone as a family and mine is not here right now. The test will come in an hour when they come over.
My mom and her boyfriend are visiting us from Salt Lake City. They came up on Wednesday night and stayed at my sister's house. We did Thanksgiving day with my husband's family while my mom and sister did Thanksgiving at her house. It was a great day, and none of the things that made me mad happened on Thursday. But Wednesday night when my mom popped in to say hi and Friday was a different story. That is what made me so mad, the difference of how he acts when it's my family vs. his.
Yesterday my mom & her BF left and went back to my sister's right before dinner, and the plan was to go to her house for dinner. That's when I told my husband that he shouldn't come if he was going to keep being an ass. That's the fight we had, and the frustrating part of the whole incident. I don't like having to ask him to be nicer when my family is in town, I don't feel like I should have to. He thinks he wasn't acting any different than usual or that he was behaving rudely. It's hard to reason with someone who doesn't see it in himself. He did end up going to my sister's and after about 45 minutes he was acting fun and nice as I knew he could.
The whole thing is irritating because it's stupid and unnecessary. It doesn't mean I don't love him or that I want out, but in the middle of my anger, sometimes that's the only solution I can see, since reasoning and talking about it gets me nowhere. Each time I'm forced to be mad on my own and then accept whenever he feels like it's OK to act nice again. It bugs me so bad.
Any person who doesn't have a spouse who does this will have a hard time understanding my frustration. It seems so simple to people who live with easy-going, non-stubborn spouses to say "I wouldn't put up with that." I have no clue how to prevent stuff like this from happening again. I have no clue how to make it be different. Counseling for communication improvement will never happen, as I'm the only one who would go. When I say something is wrong and spell out what behavior bothered me, he denies he behaved that way. It's very frustrating to deal with.
This morning my mom called and asked if we could find the BYU/Utah football game on our TV...we found it, so they are coming over to enjoy the game on the big screen. Let's hope it's more fun this time around. We'll see.
In the meantime, I've eaten the donut my man went out and bought this morning as a peace offering (I think) and I plan to be nice, and we'll see where this leads us today!
I did send her an e-mail. I outlined that I wouldn't be visiting teaching anymore, because I have recently discovered that the Mormon religion isn't all I thought it was. I assured her I wasn't offended, nor was I just quitting to lead a life of sin. I outlined a few of my biggest discoveries that pushed me into non-belief:
1. Joseph Smith gave the priesthood to a black man, Elijah Abel. Why did he do this if it was against God's will, as later prophets preached? Why did the black people get denied the priesthood until 1978?
2. Joseph Smith had many wives, behind his wife's back, some of whom were already married to men Joseph sent abroad on missions for the church. Some of them were only young girls, and Joseph promised her families eternal salvation if they'd give their daughters to him. This screams of lecherous, wrong behavior. And he did it in the name of God.
3. Why did Brigham Young teach that Adam was in fact God, the Father? As in the father of Jesus Christ. If this was taught as revelation by Brigham Young, why was it later renounced by the prophet Spencer W. Kimball as "false doctrine?"
4. Why did the church not acknowledge the fact that the papyrus that was "translated" by Joseph Smith to become the Book of Abraham, was actually a funerary text, having nothing whatsoever to do with Abraham? Many Egyptologists agree. The church has the original papyri and keeps them locked away and out of the eyes and minds of its membership.
5. Why were there so many differing accounts of the vision in the Sacred Grove? Some of these differing accounts are even by Joseph Smith himself!
6. Why does the temple ceremony so closely resemble the Masonic practices?
7. The church is full of racism, sexism, and homophobia, and I can't condone it.
8. Why did Joseph Smith form the Kirtland Safety Society by telling everyone to put all their money in that bank because God had revealed to him that it would be the biggest, most powerful bank in the land...only to have it fold shortly thereafter? Nobody recovered their money. But Joseph got plenty.
9. Why were we not taught about Joseph using a rock in a hat to "translate" the gold plates into the Book of Mormon?
10. Why, if the Book of Mormon is the "most correct book on earth" has there been no evidence of the people who lived in the Americas from the Book of Mormon? Why did the DNA study prove that the majority of native American people actually originated in Asia?
Then I told her that my biggest disappointment came from the fact that the church hid all these things. Yet they are true. And I can't be part of it anymore.
I never heard again from her. I did find out that she was released, and the other counselor I had worked with in the primary at the time I quit was made RS president. And I found out that the first president forwarded my e-mail to the current one. She and I have been e-mailing on a friendly basis since I quit, and haven't touched on any church topics, because I asked at the beginning not to be contacted in any way but friendship. She told me that she got that e-mail. That's all.
So.....I'm wondering now if the primary president got the e-mail forwarded to her as well, because she never called me like she was going to for a lunch date a few weeks ago. Interesting. I have no doubt they have talked about me amongst themselves. Not that it matters. It's just a fact, I'm sure.
Now, in answer to MM's second question...Last night I did my personal equivalent of Drunken Blogging: I posted while I was still mad. Mad Blogging should be avoided. This, at least for me, is not so wise to do. In future I will probably wait a full day or two, and if I'm still upset, then I will write about whatever it was, or not.
Today I feel much better, and my man is acting like nothing is wrong and is being nice. Of course, we are alone as a family and mine is not here right now. The test will come in an hour when they come over.
My mom and her boyfriend are visiting us from Salt Lake City. They came up on Wednesday night and stayed at my sister's house. We did Thanksgiving day with my husband's family while my mom and sister did Thanksgiving at her house. It was a great day, and none of the things that made me mad happened on Thursday. But Wednesday night when my mom popped in to say hi and Friday was a different story. That is what made me so mad, the difference of how he acts when it's my family vs. his.
Yesterday my mom & her BF left and went back to my sister's right before dinner, and the plan was to go to her house for dinner. That's when I told my husband that he shouldn't come if he was going to keep being an ass. That's the fight we had, and the frustrating part of the whole incident. I don't like having to ask him to be nicer when my family is in town, I don't feel like I should have to. He thinks he wasn't acting any different than usual or that he was behaving rudely. It's hard to reason with someone who doesn't see it in himself. He did end up going to my sister's and after about 45 minutes he was acting fun and nice as I knew he could.
The whole thing is irritating because it's stupid and unnecessary. It doesn't mean I don't love him or that I want out, but in the middle of my anger, sometimes that's the only solution I can see, since reasoning and talking about it gets me nowhere. Each time I'm forced to be mad on my own and then accept whenever he feels like it's OK to act nice again. It bugs me so bad.
Any person who doesn't have a spouse who does this will have a hard time understanding my frustration. It seems so simple to people who live with easy-going, non-stubborn spouses to say "I wouldn't put up with that." I have no clue how to prevent stuff like this from happening again. I have no clue how to make it be different. Counseling for communication improvement will never happen, as I'm the only one who would go. When I say something is wrong and spell out what behavior bothered me, he denies he behaved that way. It's very frustrating to deal with.
This morning my mom called and asked if we could find the BYU/Utah football game on our TV...we found it, so they are coming over to enjoy the game on the big screen. Let's hope it's more fun this time around. We'll see.
In the meantime, I've eaten the donut my man went out and bought this morning as a peace offering (I think) and I plan to be nice, and we'll see where this leads us today!
I know it's late...so what?
I can't sleep because the snoring is too loud tonight. Way too loud. Most nights I can fall asleep anyway, but tonight it's worse than usual. Maybe it's because I'm still feeling some residual anger, so the little things become bigger and seem much worse to bear.
A few late-night wishes:
I wish I were sleeping in my warm bed right now, instead of freezing at the computer.
I wish I were more assertive and better at communicating so that each time I need to say something important, we could discuss things rationally like two adults vs. the way it ends up happening instead.
I wish I didn't have to worry about being treated well each time my family comes to visit.
I wish you would give a shit when I tell you it's humiliating to have you act like an ass almost every time they are over. Instead I get called a bitch for daring to say that I don't like being humiliated that way.
I wish you could see what is plain to anyone else with eyes that the way you treat me and them during visits is really rude.
I wish I knew why you feel the need to do this to me in the first place.
I wish I had the guts to act exactly the same way when we're with your family, so you can see that it's rude and humiliating, except I would never, EVER want to be that lame.
I wish you hadn't been so passive aggressive after we first talked about this, saying Thank You or No, Thank You in a sticky sweet voice each time I spoke to you.
I wish our kids hadn't witnessed all of this firsthand. They need to know that it's not OK to roll over and take shit that's being dished. They need to know that it's actually possible to apologize when they've hurt someone they love.
I wish you had shown my family your nice, fun, friendly side from the beginning, rather than just during the last half of our evening with them tonight. Even though you deny acting like an ass before, you did. You would never dream of acting that way around your family.
I wish you understood that ignoring my family when they first arrive, not participating in planning or doing things together, and refusing to eat with us IS behaving like an ass.
I wish you cared enough to say (or even feel) you're sorry. I wish you cared enough to acknowledge that it really does happen, and that you'll try harder not to do it again.
I wish I knew of any other guaranteed method of eliminating this treatment from my life than the one thing I know would work.
DAY AFTER UPDATE: I wish I didn't always wake up the next day and forget that I was so mad, and that you didn't always act especially nice the next day, so that I don't care about it until the next time my family comes to visit.
Of course I love him. It's just another stupid argument where I called him an ass, and he called me a bitch, and we move on the next day as if neither of us were mad. It's always the way it goes. Which is why I'm pretty sure it'll happen again, even though I wish it wouldn't.
A few late-night wishes:
I wish I were sleeping in my warm bed right now, instead of freezing at the computer.
I wish I were more assertive and better at communicating so that each time I need to say something important, we could discuss things rationally like two adults vs. the way it ends up happening instead.
I wish I didn't have to worry about being treated well each time my family comes to visit.
I wish you would give a shit when I tell you it's humiliating to have you act like an ass almost every time they are over. Instead I get called a bitch for daring to say that I don't like being humiliated that way.
I wish you could see what is plain to anyone else with eyes that the way you treat me and them during visits is really rude.
I wish I knew why you feel the need to do this to me in the first place.
I wish I had the guts to act exactly the same way when we're with your family, so you can see that it's rude and humiliating, except I would never, EVER want to be that lame.
I wish you hadn't been so passive aggressive after we first talked about this, saying Thank You or No, Thank You in a sticky sweet voice each time I spoke to you.
I wish our kids hadn't witnessed all of this firsthand. They need to know that it's not OK to roll over and take shit that's being dished. They need to know that it's actually possible to apologize when they've hurt someone they love.
I wish you had shown my family your nice, fun, friendly side from the beginning, rather than just during the last half of our evening with them tonight. Even though you deny acting like an ass before, you did. You would never dream of acting that way around your family.
I wish you understood that ignoring my family when they first arrive, not participating in planning or doing things together, and refusing to eat with us IS behaving like an ass.
I wish you cared enough to say (or even feel) you're sorry. I wish you cared enough to acknowledge that it really does happen, and that you'll try harder not to do it again.
I wish I knew of any other guaranteed method of eliminating this treatment from my life than the one thing I know would work.
DAY AFTER UPDATE: I wish I didn't always wake up the next day and forget that I was so mad, and that you didn't always act especially nice the next day, so that I don't care about it until the next time my family comes to visit.
Of course I love him. It's just another stupid argument where I called him an ass, and he called me a bitch, and we move on the next day as if neither of us were mad. It's always the way it goes. Which is why I'm pretty sure it'll happen again, even though I wish it wouldn't.
November 24, 2006
The Day After
I did pretty well with not eating too much yesterday, which is a lesson learned from many Thanksgiving feasts gone by...The past two years I've only taken that which I like (skipping dressing that comes out of the turkey, sweet potatoes, rolls - unless they are crescent rolls made from scratch - brussells sprouts, things like that.) I hate that feeling I get when I'm so full I can barely breathe right. Plus I started the day with a migraine and took a Maxalt which made me mellow enough to want to nap instead of eating. Not that I napped...
I try to take around a tablespoon of everything I do like, and only a small slice of turkey, and still my plate is loaded. I love mashed potatoes and those I load up on. Talk about too much food! But it was great! Kudos to my sister-in-law and mother-in-law for creating the majority of the food, it was GREAT! We missed some family members, wish you could've been there!
I've got my mom and her boyfriend visiting from SLC this weekend, staying at my sister's house. They are coming over sometime this morning. All my siblings know about my blog, but my parents don't, and I'm not so sure I want them to. My dad is a staunch Mormon man, and he may not appreciate reading my thoughts about Mormonism here. My mom is a lot more open and no longer participating in the Mormon faith, but I have a feeling that I may someday need to rant about childhood experiences and things I say could hurt her, which is something I don't want to do. When I'm at my sarcastic best, sometimes her feelings get hurt, and I would rather avoid the drama that could create.
But a part of me knows that at some point, one of my siblings will spill the blog to my mom, so why not just let her know about it now? She's probably going to feel hurt I didn't tell her before.
Whatever....It may be a moot point anyway. With the way my boys here tease me (translate: MOCK ME) about blogging, I wouldn't put it past them to dog me about it while she's here, and then I'll have to tell her I have a blog. Then she'll want to read it from start to finish. Hey, maybe it'll be a favor to her, as she'll want to start her own blog, and she'll enjoy it as much as I do!
Wait, this just occurred to me...maybe she already HAS HER OWN BLOG, and now I'm hurt because she didn't tell ME!
I try to take around a tablespoon of everything I do like, and only a small slice of turkey, and still my plate is loaded. I love mashed potatoes and those I load up on. Talk about too much food! But it was great! Kudos to my sister-in-law and mother-in-law for creating the majority of the food, it was GREAT! We missed some family members, wish you could've been there!
I've got my mom and her boyfriend visiting from SLC this weekend, staying at my sister's house. They are coming over sometime this morning. All my siblings know about my blog, but my parents don't, and I'm not so sure I want them to. My dad is a staunch Mormon man, and he may not appreciate reading my thoughts about Mormonism here. My mom is a lot more open and no longer participating in the Mormon faith, but I have a feeling that I may someday need to rant about childhood experiences and things I say could hurt her, which is something I don't want to do. When I'm at my sarcastic best, sometimes her feelings get hurt, and I would rather avoid the drama that could create.
But a part of me knows that at some point, one of my siblings will spill the blog to my mom, so why not just let her know about it now? She's probably going to feel hurt I didn't tell her before.
Whatever....It may be a moot point anyway. With the way my boys here tease me (translate: MOCK ME) about blogging, I wouldn't put it past them to dog me about it while she's here, and then I'll have to tell her I have a blog. Then she'll want to read it from start to finish. Hey, maybe it'll be a favor to her, as she'll want to start her own blog, and she'll enjoy it as much as I do!
Wait, this just occurred to me...maybe she already HAS HER OWN BLOG, and now I'm hurt because she didn't tell ME!
November 23, 2006
Ending 34 years of abstinence
You heard me right. I've gone and done the unthinkable. I ended my 34 years of Not Ever Drinking An Alcoholic Beverage.
My husband took me to a nice restaurant for our anniversary a couple weeks ago. My son had teased me not to drink, and my husband told him I wouldn't, and I said if I DID, then it was because it's my choice, and I'm an adult, and he's free to choose for himself when he's the legal adult age to do so.
We arrived at the restaurant about 45 minutes earlier than our reservation, so we took a seat in the bar area. I looked at the menu to decide what I wanted to try. He said something like, "You aren't going to drink." A statement, not a question.
I said, "Why not? I might."
"But you never drank before."
I thought about it and said, "The one and only reason I never drank was because I thought it was wrong, that God didn't want me to. But I found out I was taught a lot of stuff that wasn't true."
"You're not going to drink."
I asked him, "Why does the thought of me drinking bother you? You do it and it's no big deal, so why is it a big deal if I want to do it?"
Then he fired, "Would you do it if your dad were here?"
What?! What on earth does my (true believing Mormon) dad have to do with me sitting here having a drink with my man?
I said, "Would YOU not drink if my dad were here?" He said he would drink, he's done it before.
"Exactly. I'm an adult, and I can drink what I want, when I want. If I want to drink tonight, I will."
When the waitress came to take our order, my husband ordered an R&R Seven and I ordered a strawberry daiquiri. (Yes, I had to look up how to spell it!) In my pre-drinking days I would order virgin strawberry daiquiris and loved them. It was fun watching him hold his breath as I ordered.
I looked at him with what I hoped was a nonchalant look. He just stared at me. Like I had done something weird. Or like I had done something wrong. Then he told me if I didn't like it, I still had to drink it all since I ordered it. Wait a minute, is my dad here already?? Hellloooo...I had already decided I was going to finish off whatever I ordered, even before being told I HAD TO.
My first sip was interesting. It tasted like a rotten virgin strawberry daiquiri. But I persevered and drank it. I even tried his drink. His tastes like I imagine lighter fluid must taste. Shivers. For the record, a virgin strawberry daiquiri is much better tasting than the alcoholic version.
We got seated at our table and I had a little of my drink left. I was told once again that I was finishing it. That got a little old. They left us a relish tray once we ordered, and all of a sudden, my stomach started to hurt. Bad.
I told my husband and he was worried. I didn't feel lightheaded or different, just my stomach hurt way high by my ribs, and it was bad. I went to the restroom in case the worst happened. That would be my luck. I hung out in there for a while but nothing changed. Finally I went back to the table. By this time our salads had arrived. I didn't think I'd be able to eat anything, my stomach hurt so bad.
I picked at my salad a little, and after eating a few bites, I discovered it was helping my stomach not to hurt anymore! Yeeeessss. I was better!!! I realized something I never knew...I shouldn't drink on an empty stomach. I had had lunch at noon and it was already 8 pm.
I drank water with my dinner (I didn't like that stomach ache at all!) and after dinner with dessert, my husband ordered a Kalua and Cream. Oh. My. GAWD. I LOVE that drink! I drank over half of it myself. Now, there is a drink I can appreciate.
So...I can no longer say I never drank before. I have reached a new milestone.
I'm not sure I'll ever drink a beer, though. That stuff smells like death.
My husband took me to a nice restaurant for our anniversary a couple weeks ago. My son had teased me not to drink, and my husband told him I wouldn't, and I said if I DID, then it was because it's my choice, and I'm an adult, and he's free to choose for himself when he's the legal adult age to do so.
We arrived at the restaurant about 45 minutes earlier than our reservation, so we took a seat in the bar area. I looked at the menu to decide what I wanted to try. He said something like, "You aren't going to drink." A statement, not a question.
I said, "Why not? I might."
"But you never drank before."
I thought about it and said, "The one and only reason I never drank was because I thought it was wrong, that God didn't want me to. But I found out I was taught a lot of stuff that wasn't true."
"You're not going to drink."
I asked him, "Why does the thought of me drinking bother you? You do it and it's no big deal, so why is it a big deal if I want to do it?"
Then he fired, "Would you do it if your dad were here?"
What?! What on earth does my (true believing Mormon) dad have to do with me sitting here having a drink with my man?
I said, "Would YOU not drink if my dad were here?" He said he would drink, he's done it before.
"Exactly. I'm an adult, and I can drink what I want, when I want. If I want to drink tonight, I will."
When the waitress came to take our order, my husband ordered an R&R Seven and I ordered a strawberry daiquiri. (Yes, I had to look up how to spell it!) In my pre-drinking days I would order virgin strawberry daiquiris and loved them. It was fun watching him hold his breath as I ordered.
I looked at him with what I hoped was a nonchalant look. He just stared at me. Like I had done something weird. Or like I had done something wrong. Then he told me if I didn't like it, I still had to drink it all since I ordered it. Wait a minute, is my dad here already?? Hellloooo...I had already decided I was going to finish off whatever I ordered, even before being told I HAD TO.
My first sip was interesting. It tasted like a rotten virgin strawberry daiquiri. But I persevered and drank it. I even tried his drink. His tastes like I imagine lighter fluid must taste. Shivers. For the record, a virgin strawberry daiquiri is much better tasting than the alcoholic version.
We got seated at our table and I had a little of my drink left. I was told once again that I was finishing it. That got a little old. They left us a relish tray once we ordered, and all of a sudden, my stomach started to hurt. Bad.
I told my husband and he was worried. I didn't feel lightheaded or different, just my stomach hurt way high by my ribs, and it was bad. I went to the restroom in case the worst happened. That would be my luck. I hung out in there for a while but nothing changed. Finally I went back to the table. By this time our salads had arrived. I didn't think I'd be able to eat anything, my stomach hurt so bad.
I picked at my salad a little, and after eating a few bites, I discovered it was helping my stomach not to hurt anymore! Yeeeessss. I was better!!! I realized something I never knew...I shouldn't drink on an empty stomach. I had had lunch at noon and it was already 8 pm.
I drank water with my dinner (I didn't like that stomach ache at all!) and after dinner with dessert, my husband ordered a Kalua and Cream. Oh. My. GAWD. I LOVE that drink! I drank over half of it myself. Now, there is a drink I can appreciate.
So...I can no longer say I never drank before. I have reached a new milestone.
I'm not sure I'll ever drink a beer, though. That stuff smells like death.
November 22, 2006
What I've been doing in my "spare time"
Blake & Cal 9" x 12" GraphiteFirst of all, a huge THANK YOU goes to my friend, JC, who showed extreme faith in me by commissioning me to draw this portrait. It honors me to draw for you, and I appreciate your friendship even more than the commission! You are awesome.
I enjoy creating art so much. It truly feels like what I'm meant to do. But in order to make it possible to actually do it as a career, I've got to pull double duty and work full time in an office, and then draw in my not-so-spare time. It's tough sometimes, especially with deadlines looming! I have one more commission due by Christmas, one due after that (a church), and another portrait commission due before Mother's Day (thanks JK!).
I look back and am surprised by all those years I wasted, not creating any art. Why did I do that? It must have been due to my attempt to find balance in marriage, motherhood, and life in general. I'm not even sure my husband knew I could draw until years after we were married.
I wish I had the guts (and the financial ability) to just quit my job immediately and look people in the eye and say with confidence:
I am an artist. This is what I do.
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