August 20, 2007

Going green?? What a laugh.


I opened my health insurance billing statement for our company this morning and this printed notice was included (on thick, green card stock):

WE HEARD YOU and WE'RE GOING GREEN!

In response to feedback from our customers, our commitment to environmental stewardship, and our desire to hold down costs, we are eliminating the duplicate courtesy copy of your billing statement effective September 2007.

We need your help to make this change successful!

To ensure your payments continue to be properly applied, please be sure to send us a copy of your billing statement along with your payment.

We will continue to include a cover sheet on top of the bill to ensure protected health information is not visible through the envelopes because through a cost comparison study, we found it is four times more economical to use a paper cover sheet rather than using security envelopes.

Thank you for giving us feedback and for helping us help the environment and hold down costs.

This month the only thing they did not include as they always have was the 2-page copy of the billing statement. THE ONE THEY WANT ME TO COPY AND RETURN.

Not only are they not cutting back on any paper usage, they are including a note PRINTED ON CARDSTOCK to announce they are proud of "going green"! What a joke. Give me a fucking break! I'd laugh if this weren't so pathetic. The only thing they are "committed to" is saving themselves the cost of printing and mailing the remittance copy they now require their customers to send instead.

Idiots. Who also increased our premiums this month by over 20%.

I think I'm going to be sick. Oh, wait ~ that'll cost me too.

August 16, 2007

Checklist

Invitation to girls' weekend in Paris: Check.

Dream about how fun it would be to go: Check.

Just for fun, browse Expedia.com: Check.

Discover round-trip flights are cheaper than expected: Check.

Frantic e-mails saying I'M IN!!!: Check.

More frantic e-mails to include additional good friends in Paris plans: Check.

Apply for passport: Check.

Hope to Gawd my passport arrives in time without having to expedite the process to the tune of $60: Check.

Arrange place to stay in Paris with Montchan, Genilimaa, and Taiko Tari: Check.

Arrange place to stay in Paris with Wry Catcher and Chanson and possibly Mabel and Agnes, who are seeing if they can swing it too: To Be Done ASAP.

Relish the anticipation for months: Check.
_____________

~ A special thanks to my husband for supporting my desire to go on this trip. WHERE and WHEN are WE going to take a weekend??? See me.

~ Photo courtesy of Photos of Paris.

August 14, 2007

My Favorite Poem

I posted this on my blog back in August 2006 when I was so new at it I hardly had any readers. This poem inspires me as an artist, and also as a person who desires to be more authentic.

The Journey
By Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do –
determined to save
the only life that you could save.

August 10, 2007

Friday at last

I've been pretty busy at work this week since it's my crunch time of the month with billing clients. I hope to see my way clear soon. I'm so burned out! I feel like I could sleep for 5 days straight.

Tonight we're taking the kids to a hotel in town that has a waterslide at their pool. We've never tried that before (who stays at a hotel in the same town they live in??) but it should be tons of fun. We plan to have pizza delivered to our room. Our youngest is pretty excited, and that makes us glad we chose to do this.

Happy weekend to everyone! If you are doing anything new or fun this weekend, feel free to share! I like to know what others like to do for fun.

August 8, 2007

On burnt buns and keeping up appearances


Yesterday my husband called me at work to ask me if he should boil ALL the bratwurst in beer before grilling. . .because our nine year old daughter had her best friend over. Her Mormon best friend. After a little thought and discussion we decided to boil hers in water to honor her parents' possible qualms about food cooked in alcohol.

When I walked in the door that evening, I was hit with the most delicious smells in the kitchen. Mmmmmm, brats, beer, corn on the cob, onions sauteed in butter, sauerkraut, freshly sliced cantaloupe. I love it when he cooks, he's much more inspired than I am with cooking, and he's quite talented at it too.

We were all sitting at the table waiting for him to finish up at the stove, when suddenly he yelled, "SON of a BITCH!" at the top of his voice as he turned around with a cookie sheet from the oven.

"Dartman!!" I thought he had burned himself.

"Oh, sorry. But GODDAMNIT, I burnt the buns! Goddamn buns are ruined! FUCK!"

"Dart! Mellow out! Stop swearing! It's not the end of the world!" He continued to mumble goddamnsonofabitch words while I watched my daughter's friend's eyes get huge, and she took her rounded corn on the cob skewers and put them over her ears to block out the swearing. All I could picture was her reporting this incident the second she got home. I kept telling him to mellow out while I tried to point out that burnt buns were no big deal ~ I'd be back in no time since the store is only a couple blocks away. I started putting my shoes on while giving him the eye. The stupid part of the whole thing was, the kids hadn't wanted their buns toasted (why does that sound bad??) so they were able to eat. It was only the adults who needed new buns.

I mouthed the words "Calm. Down." to him on my way out the door. I got back so soon, the brats were still hot. I was seething mad. It's just buns for cripes sakes.

And we worried about boiling her bratwurst in beer.


~ SML, hopeful that my daughter didn't just lose her best friend.

August 2, 2007

Growing Up Mormon - Youth Temple Trip Preparation

Every year our ward planned a youth temple trip to do baptisms for the dead. For Montanans, this required a road trip to the nearest temple since we didn't have enough members to warrant a temple being built (yet). The cool part for us was it meant a 6-hour drive to the Idaho Falls Temple and an overnight stay. Planning meetings, fund-raisers, and excited anticipation permeated the young mens and young womens organizations for months prior to the trip.

As MWOM (Mormons Without Money), my brother, sister and I always had to scramble to make enough money to pay our way to the temple. My brother is a year older than me and my sister is a year younger. Having six younger brothers and sisters meant I had a lot of experience babysitting, as did Eric and Val. I remember being relieved that I was finally able to earn my own money so I could have more money for clothes, shoes, and. . .oh, who am I kidding?? CANDY. I loved babysitting because it fed my addiction to candy.

One particularly lean year, my mom came up with a plan for us to raise money for our trip. She got out the ward directory and divided the list of names into three equal groups. Each of us got a different group of names, and a bit of instruction on what to say.

Let the cold calling begin!

"Hi, Sister Hodges? This is Lisa from your ward. I'm trying to earn money for the upcoming youth temple trip, and would just like to ask you to keep me in mind if you need a babysitter in the next month. Thanks!"

I was so uncomfortable making those calls. Perhaps those calls are the reason I've never worked as a phone solicitor. But lo and behold, it worked. We always made enough money to go. Of course, we also worked at every single bake sale and every single car wash too. I used to envy my MWM (Mormons With Money) friends, because they could skip those lame activities and all that hard work if they wanted. We didn't have the luxury. We worked every single fund-raiser we could.

I remember my first temple recommend interview. I was twelve years old, uncomfortable and nervous because I didn't know what to expect. After asking me to sit down, my bishop proceeded to try to make me feel more at ease by asking about my family. I told him they were fine. He asked me if I was a full tithe payer. Yes. He asked me if I followed the Word of Wisdom by not drinking coffee, tea, or partaking of alcohol, tobacco, or drugs. I assured him I obeyed the Word of Wisdom. These questions were standard, so his next one caught me by surprise.

"Lisa, tell me how many boys you've kissed."

"NONE!" I kind of laughed nervously as if he had told a joke while I squirmed in my chair and looked at the wall behind his head. I could feel my face turning purple.

"Oh, come now. Surely you've kissed boys by now!"

"No! Not one! Sheesh!"

"Are you sure you've never kissed a boy, not even one? Come on, you can tell me. You must have kissed at least one. Tell me about it." He had lowered his voice to try to sound like a confidante who'd never tell my secrets.

What the hell?! I was starting to get mad. "Bishop. Listen. I have never kissed a boy. Ever. Why won't you believe me?" I was still beet red and my forehead had broken out into a cold sweat.

"I just find it hard to believe that someone like you has never even kissed a boy. You should tell me if you have. I'm your bishop."

"Well, I haven't, so the answer is no."

The interview ended quite quickly after that, thankfully.

Now that I look back on that interview with adult eyes, I realize things about that bishop that most Mormons won't acknowledge a priesthood leader could be capable of. I'm not sure what jollies he got out of just listening to a young girl talk about kissing other boys, but there can be no doubt that he had something going on that made him want to hear it.

My discomfort over being questioned wasn't for naught, however. I left the interview with temple recommend in hand. I was going to the temple, baby, the House of the Lord!